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Brooks believes it will require a return to humanism, religion, and the humanities, “the great instructors of enchantment.” Countering algorithmic fixation requires a re-education of the American populace—teaching people how to see and prize the philosophical, spiritual, intellectual, and thus immeasurable characteristics that cannot be removed from our pursuit of love.But a short-term answer to the algorithm dilemma can also be found in urging people to stop putting so much weight on numbers, studies, and quizzes. You should have friends, because friendship is good, in and of itself, regardless of its personal repercussions.Quantification requires open books: not mysterious, deep, changeable, thoughtful individuals.But we need mystery for true relational intimacy—because it is through the sharing of our deeper selves that we grow in love and devotion.Our culture prizes quantification to the detriment of true intimacy, as well.Quantification destroys intimacy through its rigid measurements of human beings: measurements that cannot encompass the inner intricacies and contradictions that make us unique.
If they’re going to be open to a real relationship, they have to stop asking where this person rates in comparison to others and start asking, can we lower the boundaries between self and self.It’s a place where you, as a foreigner, are still a novelty.It’s a city that turns finding the woman of your dreams from nearly impossible into a goal that you can achieve within 24 hours.Even those of us who would never use online dating sites will still often Facebook-stalk someone before a date.We take the Meyers-Briggs personality test and various strengths-finder quizzes in order to determine whether we’ve picked the right job.
We use Yelp to check every restaurant, pick movies via Rotten Tomatoes, use wine apps to purchase the perfect bottle.