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“Look at your opening letter to women,” says dating expert Dr. “Make sure it’s personal and includes comments specifically about her profile, what you like about it, why you contacted her (other than that picture of her in a bathing suit), and why she should want to get to know you.” Has your profile been up for a while and not getting much play?
“Take an objective look,” says dating columnist April Masini.
” This is an extreme step, to be sure, but as Liz Kelly, author of Smart Man Hunting, says, “If you ask your friends to review your profile, they’ll tell you what they think you want to hear, whereas an outsider is paid to help you look great online.” Needless to say, a coach can help you with many of the points above, such as crafting a great profile, posting your most flattering pictures and writing your opening letter.
“All business ventures have active spells and cold spells, and so does the process of finding a mate online,” says Wendy Allen, author of How to Survive the Crisis of an Affair.
That’s right, only 3 out of 10 people who use Tinder will ever actually get out on a date. This shows that, for the vast majority of people, online dating is very difficult.
So, how can anybody, especially average men and women, succeed?
If you’re not getting any responses — or if no one is noticing your profile — “try a spiritual exercise.
You have to be mentally tough enough to slog through the crap online dating throws at you. Use it as a chance to go on fun dates with attractive people.Think about it: “A site that includes the words ‘Sugar Daddy’ might be appropriate if you’re a younger woman Guys are an easily intimidated bunch, so if you go out of your way to specify that your potential date has to be at least six feet tall and make over 0,000 per year, you’re going to receive fewer emails than a gal with less-stringent expectations.By the same token, announcing that you expect to date a “gentleman” with “traditional values” screams one thing to most guys: “Gold-digger!You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever tried it: Attention whores Flakes Bots Scammers Rejections Unmatches Unreturned messages Creeps One word answers like “ya” and “Ok” People who show up in person looking nothing like their profile pics And many, many more headaches Having the mental toughness to not give up and fight through the crap is vital to finding success when trying to date online. Instead respond by making light of the situation and by giving the person doing the bad behavior a hard time. Responding angrily or sarcastically isn’t light and funny. This also frees you to actually have fun, meet cool new people, and have an open mind.Many people just aren’t up to the task or have no desire to be. Subjecting yourself to that pain takes a special person. If you try to make the process lighthearted and fun, you can laugh off the difficulties. These are all things that make life more fun, expose you to lots of new people, and, actually increase your odds of actually meeting…gasp…your soulmate. If you want to succeed at online dating, you’ll need, above all, resiliency.
“It’s just like real estate: If a property is on the market too long, people assume there’s something wrong with it.